Picture this, you’re going to a
spectacular beach resort with your husband and children. Time to swim in one of the many amazing pools,
wade in the Arabian Gulf, or walk on the beach.
Everyone puts his or her bathing suit on, except YOU.
Beach towels, toys, sunscreen, but not YOU. Black abayah sweeping the ground covers your
clothes. Black shayla or hijab hides your
hair. Veil and black gloves? Yes, if your husband requires you to cover
your face and hands.
Good news for the Emirati women! There are Women's Only Beaches! So, they can take their children to the beach and actually wear a bathing suit. They can go in the Arabian Gulf and swim with their kids. No men allowed! Also, most villas have a pool, so they can also enjoy the water with their children.
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| Hot in Black? |
I watched this scenario again and again in
the Middle East. My husband and I often
went to resorts to escape the intense city heat. In April, he took me to the Jebel Ali
Resort and Spa in Dubai for my birthday.
It was so hot and humid that spring weekend that I stayed in the shade
or immersed myself in the sea or pool to stay cool. But the best parts was that the waiters served wine and food everywhere
on the grounds!
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| Two Ladies at the Pool |
You’re probably asking, how do the Emirati women handle
this? Aren’t they hot? Aren’t they annoyed or frustrated by their
culture’s clothing restrictions? I asked
my Emirati friends these same questions and their answers may surprise
you.
They totally accept and embrace their
culture. They are very proud of their
country, their traditions, and customs. To
them, it’s easy to put on an abayah and shayla over their clothes and hair when
they go out. No need to get all dressed
up each time, do their hair and makeup.
Quick and simple…
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| Mom with her Toddler at the Pool |
However, if they are going shopping with
their girlfriends or husbands, they look exquisite as they gracefully glide
along with their sleek black garments swishing and sweeping around their
designer sandals.
Their makeup is flawless
and looks as though it was professionally applied. Exquisitely lined and shadowed eyes, full
colorful lips, eyebrows that are precisely threaded, and picture perfect skin. But, what I enjoyed most were the fragrances
wafting through the air after they floated past.
One afternoon in Abu Dhabi, I was enjoying
an outdoor lunch at the Heritage Museum with my girlfriend, Sue, and her
daughter, Lauren, from the UK. We
watched four jet skis racing up and down the Arabian Gulf.
Lauren decided to take off her sandals and go
for a walk on the beach. Suddenly the
jet skis came within inches of the shoreline and sprayed her with water –
totally drenching her hair and long dress.
Then the jet skiers screamed with laughter and roared away.
However, the craziest thing is that four
young Emirati girls were driving the jet skis!
How do I know that they were Emiratis?
What do you think they were wearing?
You guessed it… Yes, they were…
They were wearing their black abayahs and shaylas while riding the jet
skis.
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| Two Emirati Women Shopping |
When I taught at the Al-Mizhar American
Academy for Girls in Dubai, I asked my young students how they felt about their
traditional obligatory clothing. Again,
no problem. Muslim females can choose to wear
the abayah about the age of eight, but are not required to do so.
However, once girls reach puberty, the long
black abayah and shayla are an essential component of their wardrobe. Most of my students removed their abayahs and
shaylas during school because it was an all girl’s school and that was allowed.
I met a young, educated Emirati woman who
worked in administration at my husband’s school, the Institute of Applied Technology in Dubai, which was government controlled. It was an all boys' school, but staff and
faculty included both men and women. No
problem for this young lady for four years. She
loved her job and the school administrators valued her work, her credentials,
and experience.
However, when she got married, everything
changed. After the wedding, her husband informed her that she must now totally cover her face with a veil or hijab. Big problem for her because the school had a
policy of ‘no veils’ due to security. Faces must be seen at all times, specifically at the entrance gate which was secured and guarded. So, she asked for special permission to wear her veil in the
workplace. Request denied because of
security concerns.
Guess what?
She had to resign a job she loved.
She had to quit her job because her husband and his family's tribe dictated the rules. Obviously, her own family and father did not require
women to veil because she had never veiled prior to this. Seemingly, they were less traditional than
the family she married into. I only hope
that she found a new job where she can wear her full veil and cover her face to satisfy her new husband and family.
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| Emirati Family at Global Village |
In Abu Dhabi, I taught ESL to a strikingly
beautiful 18-year-old Emirati girl. Young people tend to marry young in the United Arab Emirates. So, she got married. And, after her honeymoon, she sadly announced that she would not be able to continue
taking English classes. I was new and inexperienced to Middle Eastern culture, so I asked why she couldn’t return for the next ESL
session.
Simple answer… Her husband said so. No more classes. He told her that because she had a car and
driver now, she could go shopping or out to lunch with her girlfriends. But she could not attend school. I kept in touch with her for years.
She’s still married to the same man and has
two lovely children. However, she never
returned to class to further her education. But this was in 2004. Now, women are often more educated than the men in the UAE. There are also more women in the workforce than ever before!
Only Emirati and Saudi women wear
black. Muslim women from other Middle
Eastern countries wear colorful long robes and headscarves covering their
hair. About 65% of Emiratis wear veils
or hijabs. Some veils cover the entire
face. Other veils allow only the eyes to
be shown.
But, many Middle Eastern women
show their entire face. How an Emirati
woman veils or doesn’t depends on her father's tribe or her husband’s tribal preferences.
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| Family on Boat at Global Village |
Although there were many cultural
differences between the Emirati women and me, I did find similarities and built
strong friendships. I so enjoyed teaching
them, shopping with them, and having family meals in their homes. But what I loved most was attending
their weddings. So much fun and so unique! That is another blog story I wrote.
They are lovely,
generous women who are mothers, daughters, sisters and most of all, good friends. My admiration is sincere and I
miss them. I shared stories about my
life, my family, children, and grandchildren.
They loved my photos of snow, autumn leaves, mountains, grandchildren,
and all things American.
They all wanted to improve their
English. They want to visit the United
States - New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Disneyland.
Nearly every woman wanted to have shinier hair, better skin, get married, have children, learn to drive a car, travel
the world, ride a bicycle, water ski, or snow ski. Funny thing, nearly every woman wanted to lose the 10 pounds that we all want to lose!
So, you see, we’re not really that
different. We just don’t wear long black
garments when it’s 105 F and sunny.
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| Long, hot day at the Beach Wearing Black! |
